Assignment 1-14-05

[Hannibal]

Just wanted to let you know - it's half done.
I've been working on it... yes, actually WORKING - on a peice.
it's been hard though - work was pretty busy this week - and evenings were spent mostly preparing for bed - then going to bed.
not a lot of free time. quite a few days where I worked through lunch - and stayed late.
But - it'll be up soon - promise.

[machinery]

dude, same here. work, my gf, not being able to sleep, a tooth pulled, a root canal, a meeting with my attornery...and work and just being high...i've been thinking...always thinking....i have over thirty lines of rough draft boom booms...but nothing that has held together.

my line is:

"c'mon america, you"

so you can think about what i'm gonna write.

actually, i took that line from a poem i posted long ago on here called "feeling this american night"

so...old work does serve a purpose.

i promise i will have it on here tomorrow, not sure if it will be final, but it will be a draft nonetheless.

good luck chris (and anyone else that is doing this.)

[Hannibal]

Flip - use that time you spend playing gunbound - and write.
I was busy till late last night so i didn't get a chance to play, sorry.

[Fliptastic29]

I totally feel you both. I've been working a lot during my break from school. And I've been sicker than hell since the 1st. I'm pretty sure it's the worst cold i've had in my entire life. So hopefully once school starts again i'll feel better and actually start fixing the pieces i said i'd fix. And also start some new ones.

Well good luck to you both.

[machinery]

what's your line chris?

or your phrase?

you gonna give me a taste? or you gonna make me wait?

[Fliptastic29]

it's cool. I never played anyways. I just talked with soph cause she's kind of down. So i thought i'd try and help. She was wondering how you were doing. School starts soon so i'm sure my mind will be put back to use. It's just a big bucket of much right now

[gardenluvr45]

Hey Rob - this is Chris on my mom's account.
My line is "Memories"
but - i'm thinking I may change it - i've got some good stuff with it - but... i'm not sure if it's what is "ready to go"..
we'll have to see...
I had about a page full of lines to try and work off of - but "memories" is what I thought would do well..
I'm thinking I may have to come up w/ something else.

[Hannibal]

Memories have left me helpless.
They've assailed me with their visions,
leaving me in a much more weathered state than,
when I last slept.
I'd prefer nightmares to these
Memories.
I see people who've long been gone,
From this world to the next they've traveled,
Hearing their voice -
Seeing their images - from my
Memories.

Memories have indulged my mind in delight.
They have brought tears to my eyes with laughter,
Getting to spend quality time with some of my favorite
Friends.
How many friends have I lost to slowly decaying
Memories.
Shuffling motions, forging onward in life,
Taking that split second,
To consider the possibilities of days gone by in my
Memories.

Memories have left me tired.
Chasing dreams of what once were,
Following a timeline into what could be,
Or what might have been,
Never allowed any release from these
Memories.
Knocked down - and kicked around,
Childhood decisions, with adult level reprocussions,
Empty words, Empty promises,
Now just left with a head full of these
Memories.

[machinery]

the word memories keeps ringing in my head.

it almost seems too layed out...the poem of course...

when you say memories, i want to know what ones.
it would be, pardon my wc, neat, to see what these memories are in vivid detail..like an ongoing list and/or rant...

when i think of memories, i don't think of structure...they fucking pop out of nowhere and because of one , another one spawns.,.,...
see what i'm saying?

yr idea to use the word memories is good, but the words that go with it need work man..

don't tell me, show me.

the last stanza is yr strongest.

i was thinking of the sound of how i say memories...
and other m words like my , mourning etc etc

what if you load this with m's?

i'm just thinking.
my poem i turned in is a rough draft. i want to definitely tightening the drum in some areas while loosen it up elsewhere.
concentrate on the good stuff, you know?

what about yourS?

get back to me.

[Hannibal]

A bunch of good ideas Rob - I hadn't thought of that idea - that one memory leads to another, etc.
I was talking ABOUT memories, not so much OF memories.
I'll have to revise and post later. [img]wink.gif[/img]
loaded with M's is an interesting thought..